It so happens that there is already a "Detritus.net" and it is a very cool site indeed.
Monday, May 31, 2004
Sunday, May 30, 2004
Six kids, two moms and a lot of cheese and crackers...
When we were, I suppose, about 20, my friend Tina had her first baby I came to see her and I stood on her doorstep as we were leaving and swore our kids would grow up to be friends. As the years passed, life happened and it looked less and less likely that that would ever be a possibility. But here we are years later back in our hometown with about as many bad things in common as we have good and in some ways it's like no time has passed at all. In other ways, it's like a million years have passed, but so goes it. Anyway, Tina's boys and my girls played together and it was beautiful chaos. They all had a blast, and it's so nice to hang out with someone else who doesn't have a stick up teir ass when it comes to discipline, frankly. There was some degree of running wild, but everyone was safe and happy and nothing got destroyed, which is all one can ask out of life, really. It was especially cool to see the two babies interact, both of them being somewhat unused to playmates their own age. Mainly it consisted of handing each other things and running away. So cute. And amidst it all, we actually managed to get a little work done too. Go figure. Thanks Tina! Let's do it again soon!
In other news, I am alternately waging a rather aggressive job search and groveling in humility at the feet of several cruelly benevolent state agencies in an effort to pay my rent and go on with my life. I have $335 to go and 4 days in which to acquire it. But ny oh so understanding parents have performed the great and generous task of delivering their unwanted, expired can goods to my doorsteo unnanounced. Thank you, Mom and Dad, maybe I can sell your half box of stale oatmeal packets and the bottle of salt free ketchup on the black market at a good markup or something. If you haven't yet heard the details of my parents' recent "supportive" speech, well, it's really all too sordid to repeat, but suffice it to say some of the Chrisitans I know are terribly unchristian in their attitudes towards people in need. I bet if I "found Jesus" somebody'd come up with the rent money, but I'm, sticking to my new policy of brutal honesty and forthfrightness even if it hurts, warts and all. Saying I believed in god would be a lie, and lying to avoid hurt feelings leads to lying to save face, leads to lying for personal gain, and I've at certain points in recent history been gradually compelled to lie way more than I've ever wanted to and I never want to be that kind of person again. That's an approach to life worth modeling for my girls, I think.
Speaking of the girls, my wee little Miss Sarah Peanut is turning two on Tuesday! She won't be a baby anymore:(
In other news, I am alternately waging a rather aggressive job search and groveling in humility at the feet of several cruelly benevolent state agencies in an effort to pay my rent and go on with my life. I have $335 to go and 4 days in which to acquire it. But ny oh so understanding parents have performed the great and generous task of delivering their unwanted, expired can goods to my doorsteo unnanounced. Thank you, Mom and Dad, maybe I can sell your half box of stale oatmeal packets and the bottle of salt free ketchup on the black market at a good markup or something. If you haven't yet heard the details of my parents' recent "supportive" speech, well, it's really all too sordid to repeat, but suffice it to say some of the Chrisitans I know are terribly unchristian in their attitudes towards people in need. I bet if I "found Jesus" somebody'd come up with the rent money, but I'm, sticking to my new policy of brutal honesty and forthfrightness even if it hurts, warts and all. Saying I believed in god would be a lie, and lying to avoid hurt feelings leads to lying to save face, leads to lying for personal gain, and I've at certain points in recent history been gradually compelled to lie way more than I've ever wanted to and I never want to be that kind of person again. That's an approach to life worth modeling for my girls, I think.
Speaking of the girls, my wee little Miss Sarah Peanut is turning two on Tuesday! She won't be a baby anymore:(
Saturday, May 29, 2004
Friday, May 28, 2004
Morgana's Stones reading of the day...
Orange,The Stone Of Power-
This is the stone of power, success, control, and will. Orange is a very
strong, powerful colour. It contains the passion of red activated by
yellow. This combination becomes sheer Willpower, the ability to manifest
all that is desired.
Moonstone-
The Moonstone reflects the influence of the Divine Mother. She represents
the cyclical nature of life and our own waxing and waning. The Moonstone
is the wishing stone. Where she lands all things are possible.
This is the stone of power, success, control, and will. Orange is a very
strong, powerful colour. It contains the passion of red activated by
yellow. This combination becomes sheer Willpower, the ability to manifest
all that is desired.
Moonstone-
The Moonstone reflects the influence of the Divine Mother. She represents
the cyclical nature of life and our own waxing and waning. The Moonstone
is the wishing stone. Where she lands all things are possible.
Wednesday, May 26, 2004
Crystal Ball Reading Of the Day
Be careful what you wish for, you may get it!
If only I knew 100 people...
...that would lend me $5 each, I'd be golden.
Tuesday, May 25, 2004
Crowdsurfing
Sometimes when you can't carry your own weight you have to shut your eyes
and dive right in and hope nobody's gonna drop you...
and dive right in and hope nobody's gonna drop you...
Morgana's Stones reading of the day...
Orange,The Stone Of Power-
This is the stone of power, success, control, and will. Orange is a very
strong, powerful colour. It contains the passion of red activated by
yellow. This combination becomes sheer Willpower, the ability to manifest
all that is desired.
Moonstone-
The Moonstone reflects the influence of the Divine Mother. She represents
the cyclical nature of life and our own waxing and waning. The Moonstone
is the wishing stone. Where she lands all things are possible.
This is the stone of power, success, control, and will. Orange is a very
strong, powerful colour. It contains the passion of red activated by
yellow. This combination becomes sheer Willpower, the ability to manifest
all that is desired.
Moonstone-
The Moonstone reflects the influence of the Divine Mother. She represents
the cyclical nature of life and our own waxing and waning. The Moonstone
is the wishing stone. Where she lands all things are possible.
Monday, May 24, 2004
William Blake Tarot Cards Of The Day
Ace of Music (Passion): "The desire of Man being Infinite the possession is Infinite & himself Infinite." Release of emotions. Upsurge of creative power. Unlimited potential. Being carried away by your emotions (swept up on wings of song). Feeling a passion for life. Wanting to achieve the highest potentials in yourself and the situation. Following your bliss. Feeling a deep sense of grace and fulfillment. Vulnerability and openness. In the creative process: A passionate desire to rise above the norm, to soar to personal new heights of creative vision.
( Six of Science (Passage): Opening the way or clearing obstacles. Movement of information. A Rite of Passage. A stressful journey. Seeking a sense of purpose. Receiving guidance from a higher source. Exploring new terrain. In the creative process: Your imagination needs to be uncovered or unleashed by resolving contradictory elements and seeking spiritual guidance.
detritus)(dream)(poetica)(myth)(opinion)(divination)
( Six of Science (Passage): Opening the way or clearing obstacles. Movement of information. A Rite of Passage. A stressful journey. Seeking a sense of purpose. Receiving guidance from a higher source. Exploring new terrain. In the creative process: Your imagination needs to be uncovered or unleashed by resolving contradictory elements and seeking spiritual guidance.
detritus)(dream)(poetica)(myth)(opinion)(divination)
Sunday, May 23, 2004
As I fall asleep where I sit, I'm...
...dreaming of clipper ships passing through a harbor.
I have no idea what this means.
I'm going to bed now.
Now that I'm all alone...
I am less alone than I've ever been before.
Saturday, May 22, 2004
Listening to...
...Tori and Nirvana.
One to motivate, the other to cathart, an appropriate blend, like whiskey in your tea.
Bonus points that my beautiful wee girls like to dance to both since they are all that matters anymore.
One to motivate, the other to cathart, an appropriate blend, like whiskey in your tea.
Bonus points that my beautiful wee girls like to dance to both since they are all that matters anymore.
Thought I Had
You know how when men have a problem or some sort of crisis or issue,
generally they want to talk about it, but they don't want a solution? They
just want to hear "that sucks" or "what a bummer" and then maybe hear a
good joke to take their minds off the thing, and other guys instinctively
know this? Well I think the equivalent with women is ego stroking.
Seriously. Something I've been noticing lately is as soon as one woman
goes to another with a major crisis, the other woman always ends the
conversation with "You're such a
strong/intelligent/beautiful/fill-in-theblank person and I know you'll get
through this." Or something like that. And even if we know it's a load of
shit it somehow always makes us feel better. And if men and women just
realized this about each other, maybe we would all get along just
famously. Or at least we would stick our feet in our mouths on a less
regular basis. Or something.
generally they want to talk about it, but they don't want a solution? They
just want to hear "that sucks" or "what a bummer" and then maybe hear a
good joke to take their minds off the thing, and other guys instinctively
know this? Well I think the equivalent with women is ego stroking.
Seriously. Something I've been noticing lately is as soon as one woman
goes to another with a major crisis, the other woman always ends the
conversation with "You're such a
strong/intelligent/beautiful/fill-in-theblank person and I know you'll get
through this." Or something like that. And even if we know it's a load of
shit it somehow always makes us feel better. And if men and women just
realized this about each other, maybe we would all get along just
famously. Or at least we would stick our feet in our mouths on a less
regular basis. Or something.
The Return Of Pan
lyrics by the Waterboys
"I stood upon the balcony with my brand new bride
the clink of bells came drifting down the mountainside
When in our sight something moved
- lightning eyed and cloven hooved -
The great god Pan is alive!
He moves amid the modern world in disguise
it's possible to look into his immortal eyes
He's like a man you'd meet anyplace
Until you recognise that ancient face
The great god Pan is alive!
At sea on a ship in a thunder storm
on the very night that Christ was born
A sailor heard from overhead
a mighty voice cry "Pan is dead!"
So follow Christ as best you can
Pan is dead! Long Live Pan!
From the olden days and up through all the years
from Arcadia to the stone fields of Inisheer
Some say the Gods are just a myth
but guess who I've been dancing with
The great god Pan is alive!"
(detritus)(dream)(poetica)(myth)(opinion)(divination)
"I stood upon the balcony with my brand new bride
the clink of bells came drifting down the mountainside
When in our sight something moved
- lightning eyed and cloven hooved -
The great god Pan is alive!
He moves amid the modern world in disguise
it's possible to look into his immortal eyes
He's like a man you'd meet anyplace
Until you recognise that ancient face
The great god Pan is alive!
At sea on a ship in a thunder storm
on the very night that Christ was born
A sailor heard from overhead
a mighty voice cry "Pan is dead!"
So follow Christ as best you can
Pan is dead! Long Live Pan!
From the olden days and up through all the years
from Arcadia to the stone fields of Inisheer
Some say the Gods are just a myth
but guess who I've been dancing with
The great god Pan is alive!"
(detritus)(dream)(poetica)(myth)(opinion)(divination)
Nirvana Lyrics Demystified...
...at the Cobain Memorial Website.
untitled
If I told you what my tears taste like
You wouldn't in a million years believe me
Here I am again
Driving in a wall of sound
Shutting out the world
Before it shuts me out
I can cry and rage and scream, but
Inside I never feel a thing
Like my body's still alive
and my brain can't quite reach it
I've been so frozen and so distanced for so long
It's a wonder I can function
It's a wonder I'm here at all
Sometimes I think I can laugh myself awake
Or that I could be loved into being
If only I were worth it
Why I keep trying is pretty much beyond me
These words are not a work of art
Just the truth
Something with which I have a tenous relationship
I think I'd rather be a monster than a liar anymore
you can't really suffer when you're not all there
So what am I afraid of?
(detritus)(poetica)(myth)(opinion)(divination)
You wouldn't in a million years believe me
Here I am again
Driving in a wall of sound
Shutting out the world
Before it shuts me out
I can cry and rage and scream, but
Inside I never feel a thing
Like my body's still alive
and my brain can't quite reach it
I've been so frozen and so distanced for so long
It's a wonder I can function
It's a wonder I'm here at all
Sometimes I think I can laugh myself awake
Or that I could be loved into being
If only I were worth it
Why I keep trying is pretty much beyond me
These words are not a work of art
Just the truth
Something with which I have a tenous relationship
I think I'd rather be a monster than a liar anymore
you can't really suffer when you're not all there
So what am I afraid of?
(detritus)(poetica)(myth)(opinion)(divination)
Tarot Cards of the Day
The Hanged Man: Pausing to reflect. Surrendering to an experience. Adjusting to new ideas through sacrifice. Opening oneself to intuition and enhanced awareness. Letting go of past patterns and growing beyond them. Inner peace, faith, and serenity.
Queen of Swords, when reversed: The dark essence of air behaving as water, such as a cold rain: A person gifted with both keen logic and natural intuition, giving them uncanny powers of perception and insight. One who easily sees the weakness in any argument, and savages friend and foe alike with biting sarcasm. Dry and vicious wit covering a hollow sense of isolation and dissatisfaction with life.
(detritus)(dream)(poetica)(myth)(opinion)(divination)
Queen of Swords, when reversed: The dark essence of air behaving as water, such as a cold rain: A person gifted with both keen logic and natural intuition, giving them uncanny powers of perception and insight. One who easily sees the weakness in any argument, and savages friend and foe alike with biting sarcasm. Dry and vicious wit covering a hollow sense of isolation and dissatisfaction with life.
(detritus)(dream)(poetica)(myth)(opinion)(divination)
Friday, May 21, 2004
I am in need of resolve. Or the motivational mental equivalent of Xanax. I know all of the things I need to do, and I have the energy to do them, I just never know where to start. So I sit here balanced and teetering on a precipice and not quite falling and not quite stepping back. Or maybe that's a bit dramatic. Maybe I just need some sort of motivating message or organizational chart or something. At least I'm not depressed and catatonic anymore. I just need to start doing something next while I'm in the process of worrying about what to do next. Maybe that doesn't make any sense. Whatever. I'm rambling. Go visit Mcsweeney's and ignore me.
Wednesday, May 19, 2004
Simple Rituals if one were inclined to believe in that sort of thing...
Ending Depression
Recite 3 times the following:
Blessed Mother turn your face,
See with Love this empty space,
Renew my heart with love for life.
Remove from me this pain and strife.
Catalyst for Change
Need: a piece of clear quartz or a diamond.
Hold the quartz in your hand, close your eyes and take three deep breaths. Bring to mind all the restrictions and limitations in your life. Allow yourself to feel any emotions that surface as a result. Visualize your limitations, see your frustration transforming. See them become a catalyst for change, motivate you to release the past and create a better future.
Know that, just like coal is transformed into a diamond by intense pressure, your life's frustrations and pressures are working to create a better you. Carry the crystal with you as a reminder.
Finding the perfect job
Need: Classified section, tape or glue, paper/pen, marker, objects to burn paper.
Write or type a blurb about yourself as if you are writing a help-available ad. Include your general qualities, what you'd like to do day to day at work, your pay range, be realistic.
Now, write a help-wanted ad. Don't mention any specific company or employer. Just write it so that the job position would be a perfect match to what you wrote for your help-available post.
Glue both ads into the appropriate part of the classified section of the newspaper.
Cast a circle. Inside the circle, take a black marker and circle both of your ads, connecting them with a line. This is your new Perfect Job Symbol. Concentrate on it.
Burn the newspaper, releasing your intent. In a few days, look through the want ads and find your job waiting for you.
(detritus)(dream)(poetica)(myth)(opinion)(divination)
Recite 3 times the following:
Blessed Mother turn your face,
See with Love this empty space,
Renew my heart with love for life.
Remove from me this pain and strife.
Catalyst for Change
Need: a piece of clear quartz or a diamond.
Hold the quartz in your hand, close your eyes and take three deep breaths. Bring to mind all the restrictions and limitations in your life. Allow yourself to feel any emotions that surface as a result. Visualize your limitations, see your frustration transforming. See them become a catalyst for change, motivate you to release the past and create a better future.
Know that, just like coal is transformed into a diamond by intense pressure, your life's frustrations and pressures are working to create a better you. Carry the crystal with you as a reminder.
Finding the perfect job
Need: Classified section, tape or glue, paper/pen, marker, objects to burn paper.
Write or type a blurb about yourself as if you are writing a help-available ad. Include your general qualities, what you'd like to do day to day at work, your pay range, be realistic.
Now, write a help-wanted ad. Don't mention any specific company or employer. Just write it so that the job position would be a perfect match to what you wrote for your help-available post.
Glue both ads into the appropriate part of the classified section of the newspaper.
Cast a circle. Inside the circle, take a black marker and circle both of your ads, connecting them with a line. This is your new Perfect Job Symbol. Concentrate on it.
Burn the newspaper, releasing your intent. In a few days, look through the want ads and find your job waiting for you.
(detritus)(dream)(poetica)(myth)(opinion)(divination)
Tarot Cards of the Day
Queen of Swords: The essence of air behaving as water, such as a refreshing mist: A person gifted with both keen logic and natural intuition, giving them uncanny powers of perception and insight. One who easily sees past deception and confusion to the heart of a matter, and understands both sides of any argument. The embodiment of calm, forthrightness, and wit, in the face of even the most trying circumstances.
Justice: The achievement of balance and inner harmony after a great trial. Agreements, contracts, or treaties concluded justly. Things set to rights. Karma restored. A turn for the better in legal matters.
(detritus)(dream)(poetica)(myth)(opinion)(divination)
Justice: The achievement of balance and inner harmony after a great trial. Agreements, contracts, or treaties concluded justly. Things set to rights. Karma restored. A turn for the better in legal matters.
(detritus)(dream)(poetica)(myth)(opinion)(divination)
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