Friday, January 30, 2004

From the Blue Fairy Book: The Red Etin ...

Myth of the Day:THE RED ETIN



THERE were ance twa widows that lived on a small bit o' ground, which they rented from a farmer. Ane of them had twa sons, and the other had ane; and by-and- by it was time for the wife that had twa sons to send them away to seeke their fortune. So she told her eldest son ae day to take a can and bring her water from the well, that she might bake a cake for him; and however much or however little water he might bring, the cake would be great or sma' accordingly; and that cake was to be a' that she could gie him when he went on his travels.



The lad gaed away wi' the can to the well, and filled t wi' water, and then came away hame again; but the can being broken the maist part of the water had run out before he got back. So his cake was very sma'; yet sma' as it was, his mother asked if he was willing to take the half of it with her blessing, telling him that, if he chose rather to have the hale, he would only get it wi' her curse. The young man, thinking he might hae to travel a far way, and not knowing when or how he might get other provisions, said he would like to hae the hale cake, com of his mother's malison what like; so she gave him the hale cake, and her malison alang wi't. Then he took his brither aside, and gave him a knife to keep till he should come back, desiring him to look at it every morning, and as lang as it continued to be clear, then he might be sure that the owner of it was well; but if it grew dim and rusty, then for certain some ill had befallen him.



So the young man set out to seek his fortune. And he gaed a' that day, and a' the next day; and on the third day, in the afternoon, he came up to where a shepherd was sitting with a flock o' sheep. And he gaed up to the shepherd and asked him wha the sheep belanged to; and the man answered:





"The Red Etin of Ireland

Ance lived in Bellygan,

And stole King Malcolm's daughter,

The King of fair Scotland.

He beats her, he binds her,

He lays her on a band;

And every day he dings her

With a bright silver wand

Like Julian the Roman

He's one that fears no man.

It's said there's ane predestinate

To be his mortal foe;

But that man is yet unborn

And lang may it be so."



The young man then went on his journey; and he had not gone far when he espied an old man with white locks herding a flock of swine; and he gaed up to him



and asked whose swine these were, when the man answered: "The Red Etin of Ireland" --

Note: (Repeat the verses above.) Then the young man gaed on a bit farther, and came to another very old man herding goats; and when he asked whose goats they were, the answer was: "The Red Etin of Ireland" --

Note: (Repeat the verses again.) This old man also told him to beware of the next beasts that he should meet, for they were of a very different kind from any he had yet seen.



So the young man went on, and by-and-by he saw a multitude of very dreadfu' beasts, ilk ane o' them wi' twa heads, and on every head four horns. And he was sore frightened, and ran away from them as fast as he could; and glad was he when he came to a castle that stood on a hillock, wi' the door standing wide to the wa'. And he gaed into the castle for shelter, and there he saw an auld wife sitting beside the kitchen fire. He asked the wife if he might stay there for the night, as he was tired wi' a lang journey; and the wife said he might, but it was not a good place for him to be in, as it belanged to the Red Etin, who was a very terrible beast, wi' three heads, that spared no living man he could get hold of. The young man would have gone away, but he was afraid of the beasts on the outside of the castle; so he beseeched the old woman to conceal him as well as she could, and not to tell the Etin that he was there. He thought, if he could put over the night, he might get away in the morning without meeting wi' the beasts, and so escape. But he had not been long in his hidy-hole before the awful Etin came in; and nae sooner was he in than he was heard crying:





"Snouk but and snouk ben,

I find the smell of an earthly man;

Be he living, or be he dead,

His heart this night shall kitchen my bread.





"Kitchen," that is, "season."



The monster soon found the poor young man, and pulled him from his hole. And when he had got him out he told him that if he could answer him three questions his life should be spared. The first was: Whether Ireland or Scotland was first inhabited? The second was: Whether man was made for woman, or woman for man? The third was: Whether men or brutes were made first? The lad not being able to answer one of these questions, the Red Etin took a mace and knocked him on the head, and turned him into a pillar of stone.



On the morning after this happened the younger brither took out the knife to look at it, and he was grieved to find it a' brown wi' rust. He told his mother that the time was now come for him to go away upon his travels also; so she requested him to take the can to the well for water, that she might bake a cake for him. The can being broken, he brought hame as little water as the other had done, and the cake was as little. She asked whether he would have the hale cake wi' her malison, or the half wi' her blessing; and, like his brither, he thought it best to have the hale cake, come o' the malison what might. So he gaed away; and everything happened to him that had happened to his brother!



The other widow and her son heard of a' that had happened frae a fairy, and the young man determined that he would also go upon his travels, and see if he could do anything to relieve his twa friends. So his mother gave him a can to go to the well and bring home water, that she might bake him a cake for his journey. And he gaed, and as he was bringing hame the water, a raven owre abune his head cried to him to look, and he would see that the water was running out. And he was a young man of sense, and seeing the water running out, he took some clay and patched up the holes, so that he brought home enough water to bake a large cake. When his mother put it to him to take the half-cake wi' her blessing, he took it in preference to having the hale wi' her malison; and yet the half was bigger than what the other lads had got a'thegither.



So he gaed away on his journey; and after he had traveled a far way he met wi' an auld woman, that asked him if he would give her a bit of his bannock.

And he said he would gladly do that, and so he gave her a piece of the bannock; and for that she gied him a magical wand, that she said might yet be of service to him if he took care to use it rightly. Then the auld woman, who was a fairy, told him a great deal that whould happen to him, and what he ought to do in a' circumstances; and after that she vanished in an instant out o' his sight. He gaed on a great way farther, and then he came up to the old man herding the sheep; and when he asked whose sheep these were, the answer was:



"The Red Etin of Ireland

Ance lived in Bellygan,

And stole King Malcolm's daughter,

The King of fair Scotland.

He beats her, he binds her,

He lays her on a band;

And every day he dings her

With a bright silver wand.

Like Julian the Roman,

He's one that fears no man,

But now I fear his end is near,

And destiny at hand;

And you're to be, I plainly see,

The heir of all his land."



Note: (Repeat the same inquiries to the man attending the swine and the
man attending the goats, with the same answer in each case.)



When he came to the place where the monstrous beasts were standing, he did not stop nor run away, but went boldly through among them. One came up roaring with open mouth to devour him, when he struck it with his wand, and laid it in an instant dead at his feet. He soon came to the Etin's castle, where he knocked, and was admitted. The auld woman that sat by the fire warned him of the terrible Etin, and what had been the fate of the twa brithers; but he was not to be daunted. The monster soon came in, saying:



"Snouk but and snouk ben,

I find the smell of an earthly man;

Be he living, or be he dead,

His heart shall be kitchen to my bread."



He quickly espied the young man, and bade him come forth on the floor. And then he put the three questions to him, but the young man had been told everything by the good fairy, so he was able to answer all the questions. When the Etin found this he knew that his power was gone. The young man then took up the axe and hewed off the monster's three heads. He next asked the old woman to show him where the King's daughters lay; and the old woman took him upstairs and opened a great many doors, and out of every door came a beautiful lady who had been imprisoned there by the Etin; and ane o' the ladies was the King's daughter. She also took him down into a low room, and there stood two stone pillars that he had only to touch wi' his wand, when his two friends and neighbors started into life. And the hale o' the prisoners were overjoyed at their deliverance, which they all acknowledged to be owing to the prudent young man. Next day they a' set out for the King's Court, and a gallant company they made. And the King married his daughter to the young man that had delivered her, and gave a noble's daughter to ilk ane o' the other young men; and so they a' lived happily a' the rest o' their days.

Rhapsody

The online music library/filesharing service thingy. Thought it might suck, but it doesn't, actually.

Word Of the Day: Voluptuary

(noun)

[vah-LUP-choo-er'-ee]


1. a person whose life is devoted to the enjoyment of luxury and sensual pleasures; a sensualist: "Lynn resolved to cut down on his hours and recapture a bit of the lifestyle he had known as a young voluptuary."


adjective form: voluptuary


Origin:

Approximately 1610; perhaps borrowed from French, 'voluptuaire'; from Medieval Latin, 'voluptuarius'; from Latin, 'voluptarius': of or pertaining to pleasure, from 'voluptas': pleasure, from 'volup': pleasurably, from 'volupe,' neuter of 'volupis': pleasant, related to 'velle': to wish, which is related to the root 'wel-': (1) to wish, to will.


Courtesy of Vocab Vitmains.

Thursday, January 29, 2004

Pirates Of the Carribean...

...finally, I shall get to see it! Shall report my findings shortly.

The Two Mrs. Carrolls

Starring Humphrey Bogart and Barbara Stanwyck.
I'd heard such great things about this movie, and know that bits of Dead Again were based on it. How was I to know it would suck so incomparably? It sucked bugs! It sucked roaches! Poor Humphrey, perhaps he died of the embarrassment...

Sent to me by the incomparable Lizzie Stardust...

----- Original Message -----
Sent: Monday, January 26, 2004 5:24 PM
Subject: Fwd: DO YOU THINK YOU KNOW EVERYTHING?

A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.
A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.
A crocodile cannot stick out its tongue.
A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours.
A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.
A "jiffy" is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.
A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.
A snail can sleep for three years.
Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer.
All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the
back of the $5 bill.
Almonds are a member of the peach family.
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
Babies are born without kneecaps. They don't appear until the child
reaches 2 to 6 years of age.
Butterflies taste with their feet.
Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds. Dogs only have about 10.
"Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt".
February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.
In the last 4,000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.
If the population of China walked past you, in single file, the line would
never end because of the rate of reproduction.
If you are an average American, in your whole life, you will spend an average
of 6 months waiting at red lights.
It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.
Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.
Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.
No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple.
On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying over the Parliament
building is an American flag.
Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears
never stop growing.
Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.
Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.
"Stewardesses" is the longest word typed with only the left hand and "lollipop"
with your right.
The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.
The cruise liner, QE2, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel
that it burns.
The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a
chocolate bar melted in his pocket.
The sentence: "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses every
letter of the alphabet.
The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Falls froze completely
solid.
The words 'racecar,' 'kayak' and 'level' are the same whether they are
read
left to right or right to left (palindromes).
There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.
There are more chickens than people in the world.
There are only four words in the English language which end in "dous":
tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous
There are two words in the English language that have all five vowels
in order: "abstemious" and "facetious."
There's no Betty Rubble in the Flintstones Chewables Vitamins.
Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.
TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one
row of the keyboard.
Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.
Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
...Now you know everything

Ooh! A Bowie cover band in Britain!

Diamondogz: Online. Unfortunately, they're not what one might call exceptionally talented, but they certainly get bonus points for rabid fandom, anyway.

Wednesday, January 28, 2004

I did in fact know three of these facts...

Forwarded to me by Lizzie. Do you suppose she's trying to say something? Who cares, it is most fun :)


"DO YOU THINK YOU KNOW EVERYTHING?"

Oblique Strategies of the day

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"Make a blank valuable by putting it in an exquisite frame."



"Infinitesimal gradations."



mythology

detritus

opinion

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Tuesday, January 27, 2004

In Quarantine

Holed up at home with sick little girls, television and warm blankets. One has flu, the other croup and everybody needs their mommy. Wish they felt better, but it's nice to be needed.

Monday, January 26, 2004

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Yew



Change and regeneration



You are in a time of deep transformation. Many changes are happening, and your life will be quite different afterward. These changes cannot be either rushed or stopped- so take the time you need for them, and permit yourself to feel all the related emotions, negative and positive. Difficult though things may be now, new opportunities and possibilities await.



Yew is the last of the original twenty Ogham trees. Just as birch stands for new beginnings, yew symbolizes death and regeneration; the old passing away to make room for the new. As the yew ages, some branches die but the whole survives- some for 2000 years! Its wood is tough, often used for bows. The challenge of the yew is to deal with the sorrow that a deep transformation can cause; even when the new is welcome, the old can be sorely missed.



Gorse



Generosity and persistence



Your perseverance has brought you through difficulties to a time of abundance. As you reap the benefits of your past work, remember to be generous in your turn, and share the blessings that come to you. You will also need to persist in your efforts; this is not an end to labor, but a beginning of the harvest.



Gorse or furze is the seventeenth Ogham tree. It thrives outside the forest, even in inhospitable lands. Although its mature growth is tough and spiky, its new shoots are a favorite food of sheep, and it blossoms with sweet yellow flowers throughout the year, to the benefit of the bees. For these reasons, gorse symbolizes both generosity and persistence.





mythology

detritus

opinion

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The dream of the thief...

Dreamt I left my purse on a table at the street fair and went back to get it. When I returned, I found a man who looked like Jerry Garcia dressed as a Hell's Angel with an eyepatch stealing money from me. We started a conversation during which three times he tried to steal my cash and three times I stopped him. each time I caught him he would reply "sorry, I'm just doing my job." Somehow I ended up walking off with a hundred dollar bill from his wallet. He reminded me a bit of Odin/Mr Wednesday in Neil Gaiman's American Gods.

Sunday, January 25, 2004

Three Girls And A Microphone...

Attended the kick ass Grand Opening party for Silver Sea on Friday. Culminated in the Lizzieful one, the Lovely Miss Thea and myslef alone in the back room of the store with a microphone, a sound system and a number of Tori Amos tracks on CD, indulging our inner rock stars. The best parts sometimes happen after the party's over:)

Thursday, January 22, 2004

Gruff Marine Mammals



Dreamt of dolphins. Common dolphins, not bottle nosed. They could talk and were explaining why it is that they beach themselves sometimes and what we could do if we wanted to help, but I don't remember what the reason was. Said something about how they would love to submerge themselves for days at a time if only they could get enough air. How they wished they could just breathe underwater and cut out the middle part. Very jaded dolphins. Described themselves as "dolphins, porpoises, whatever the hell you guys are calling us these days..." Seemed most unimpressed with the collective intelligence of humankind. Sort of as though they were the French and we were the Ugly Americans.

(reprinted from exponential detritus for feeble minds.)

Wednesday, January 21, 2004

William Blake tarot reading of the day

Mystery, when reversed: An enigma that resists inner wisdom. Unexplained or mysterious energies at work. Issues of sexuality. Feeling yourself at the mercy of the divine trickster. Dark omens and portents.



Forgiveness: A trial-and-error blend of creative solutions to a problem or complex issue. Keeping things in proportion and proper balance by making needed adjustments. Managing your time and resources carefully. Listening for inner guidance and tuning in to spiritual advice. ****************************************************************************************************************************************

mythology

detritus

opinion

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Salome

Sometimes she's Salome

Or just another jezebel

in the endless parade

and she falls like the stock market

and you rise like unemployment

and sometimes she falls but no one catches

her

she falls because she's unsteady

never learned to walk before learning to fly

strange little bird that she is

when you let her out

of her gilded cage

she just goes looking for other nests

never learned to spread her wings

never learned a lot of things

still somehow she knows too much to be useful

Another resource for all you lazy liberals

Working Assets - another great site for armchair activism. You can use their prewritten eamil letters to lodge your political concerns, or just repond to the issues as you are alerted to them. And if you have a landline phone (I don't anymore,) you can choose them as your long distance company and stick it to the corporate profiteers. Plus there's free Ben and Jerry's pints to be had. Been there, done that, licked the lid clean.


For your issues oriented enlightenment, may I offer Mother Jones, In These Times which has the occasional Kurt Vonnegut column as a bonus, and Utne Reader, which remains "the best of the alternative press." You could always buy these magazines, but don't kid me, you're all too busy for that. Be an empowered electorate! Or at least be a real "punk." Or whatever. Just trying to do my part for "the cause," whatever that is.


Lastly, an issue brought up by a friend of mine: Alaska Logging. Here's a letter you can cut and paste and legislative contact info.


There, don't you feel better now?


Reward yourself with some Mcsweeney's links and a trip to The Onion. Or if you're still waxing political, check this out...

Tuesday, January 20, 2004

Tracklist for the newest mix CD...

...which I can only listen to at home, because my car cd player is missing its faceplate :(
1)"Delirious" - Luka Bloom
2)"Jagged" - The Old 97s
3)"Virginia Plain" - Roxy Music
4)"Remove This Doubt" - Elvis Costello
5)"Cecil Brown" - Hank Williams III
6)"Hold Her Down" - Toad The Wet Sprocket
7)Neil Gaiman on Tori Amos
8)"Tear In Your Hand" - Tori Amos
9)"River Euphrates" - The Pixies
10)"Something To Say" - Toad The Wet Sprocket
11)"Nothing To Fear (but fear itself)" - Oingo Boingo
12)"Zak and Sara" - Ben Folds
13)"(I'll love you)Till The End Of The World" - Nick Cave
14)"Big Love of a Tiny Fool" Peter Murphy
15)"Crucify" - Tori Amos
16)"Candy Says" - Velvet Underground
17)"I Forgot More Than You'll Ever Know About Her" - Elvis Costello w/ Tom Waits
18)"Clear Spot" - Pernice Brothers
19)"Lover's Lullaby" - Townes Van Zandt

Gruff Marine Mammals

Dreamt of dolphins. Common dolphins, not bottle nosed. They could talk and were explaining why it is that they beach themselves sometimes and what we could do if we wanted to help, but I don't remember what the reason was. Said something about how they would love to submerge themselves for days at a time if only they could get enough air. How they wished they could just breathe underwater and cut out the middle part. Very jaded dolphins. Described themselves as "dolphins, porpoises, whatever the hell you guys are calling us these days..." Seemed most unimpressed with the collective intelligence of humankind. Sort of as though they were the French and we were the Ugly Americans.